On the bright side, scheduling a hike for July became helplessly easy since all Hiker Jane needed to do was resend the last announcement with a new date. Surprisingly, there were many people who were in town on the long weekend and OTBP had it's largest group yet this season -- a full six hikers.
Now, Hiker Jane has often said that she is content if even ONE other person commits since if even ONE person commits, it means HIker Jane will get her ass out of bed on Sunday morning and go out and enjoy some damn nature. So, when a full five other people showed up, you can imagine her excitement and damn if she wasn't almost at Muddy's coffee shop exactly on time to coordinate cars and whatnot.
After designating a Boy Car and a Girl Car, because deep down inside Hiker Jane likes pulling out the seventh grade dance rule sometimes, and a quick stop at Safeway to pick up Mr. Hiker Jane and some sandwiches, our crew was off and away to Memorial Park in San Mateo.
We drove for a long time.
And then we drove some more.
We thought we were there.
And then we weren't.
Eventually Therese offered that even if we didn't hike much, that she was surely enjoying this very nice Sunday drive, what with all these nice trees on all sides. Hiker Jane arched her eyebrow and peered into the rear view mirror, and quite luckily the final turn was almost upon us...three miles later. The Boy Car stopped next to Hiker Jane's All Girl Car. "Hey, nice drive," offered Mr. Hiker Jane full of vim, vigor and sarcasm. Hiker Jane's eyebrow arched, yet again.
Eventually all six of us got on the trail. This wasn't before all of us spent ten minutes looking at a map and tried to find the trail we were taking. Hiker Jane took control of the situation and marched over to the Ranger Booth and asked, "Excuse me Smoky, where do we find the Pomor....the Pom...um...the Main Trail." The man stared at Hiker Jane as if she was Queen Bimbo from the Land of Blondia. Gently he took the map and then...flipped it over. "AH!," exclaimed Hiker Jane. "Can I borrow your highlighter so that I can mark our route?" Ranger Rick handed Hiker Jane the highlighter, which she then proceeded to pull, and pull, and....damn was that cap on tight. "The other end," offered Ranger Rick, "the yellow cap doesn't come off." "AH!," exclaimed Hiker Jane. Ranger Rick took a few steps back just in case her ignorance was catching. Later I'm sure he said a silent prayer that we either (a) make it back in one piece or (b) that Hiker Jane get eaten by a mountain lion so that she could not reproduce.
After a series of ass kicking hikes, the Memorial Park Trail was delightfully easier. Well, at least for the girls. The three of us sped on ahead for the first few legs of the trail. Now, it is POSSIBLE that the boys just naturally let girls wander pass since it is an excellent angle to observe them, but I'd rather think it was because we were in far, far better shape and had on spiffy hiking boots.
The seventh grade dance split continued for a little while, but eventually we all fell in step with one another. It was at this exact moment that Hiker Jane discovered she needed to pee. Hiker Jane let everyone pass, except for one speedy chica, Jill, and then proceeded to find a special grassy spot not over run with Poison Oak. Somehow, and she is not sure exactly how, she managed to lose her sunglasses in the process. She put them down with her pack and the trusty (and highlighted) map, and yet when she picked them up again, the sunglasses were gone. If Jill had chosen that moment to tell Hiker Jane that an invisible deer who was sensitive to light had STOLEN her sunglasses, she would have instantly believed her. Instead Hiker Jane spent a good ten minutes wandering around looking for her sunglasses, to no avail.
Finally Jill and Hiker Jane power hiked back up to meet with the others. After several more legs, there was some panting in the back. A boy was struggling. He claimed "calf trouble" and asked for a break. We paused briefly while the men stroked each other's egos about how challenging the trail was and so on. The girls nodded empathetically, at least, on the outside. Girls rule. Ahem.
The notion of lunch was suggested and we set off again to find a better place to stop. Eventually we got to the Memorial Park Money Shot...which sadly Hiker Jane didn't take a picture of because she...well, forgot. Perhaps needless to say, it was gorgeous and made the last few miles of incline well worth the view. We all sat down and ate our respective sandwiches and nuts. One of the boys had a sack of oranges which he shared. He rules.
After about twenty minutes we heard voices. Someone else was coming up the trail. Hiker Jane had renewed hope that someone had seen her sunglasses, or perhaps wrestled them off a deer. In the trio coming up the trail, the first two said they hadn't seen anything. The third, a young woman, was wearing headphones and didn't answer at all. While it was quick, Hiker Jane did notice that it looked like she had the missing sunglasses tucked into her tank top. Hiker Jane almost pursued her, but it was then offered (as she started to turn), "What are you going to do? Ask her for a receipt?" Good point. Instead Hiker Jane decide to write this off as monetary karma. Sunglasses, like umbrellas, tend to float in and out of ones life. Perhaps the next pair I find will be much nicer. I hoping for Chanel.
It was at this time that a Moment happened. The boy who was complaining about calf pain whipped out his pack of cigarettes, and started to make the motions of lighting up. "I'll be careful," he said with the cigarette dangling from his lips. "Uh,...hmm," said Hiker Jane. Eventually Environmentalist Hiker Jane took over. "You know, it is high fire season for the parks right now since it is so dry. I really don't think it is a good idea. Especially since the wind could carry the ashes." Calf Pain Boy was not pleased, but eventually relented, tossing his match on the ground. "Uh...hmmm," said Hiker Jane. "Don't worry," said Calf Pain Boy, "it won't light." Hiker Jane was not so sure, but was also hearing a chant of Girl Scouts in her head going, "Leave No Trace! Leave No Trace!" Hiker Jane then proceeded to say, "Uh....hmmm." and then spent ten minutes scouring the ground for the match. Believe it or not, Hiker Jane was successful. She may not have been able to find her *&^%$ sunglasses which are twenty times larger than a match, but she managed to find a white headed match with a brown stem in a bunch of wheat colored tall grass. Go figure.
In any case, this Moment is causing Hiker Jane to do two things. Maybe three.
1. Develop the OTBP ten Hiker Jane Hiking guideline-like-things.
2. Tell people about those guidelines
3. Brush and floss at least twice a day.
Number three is unrelated, but still important.
The rest of the hike continued, and Hiker Jane went back to checking out the flowers and hang with the Girl Car crew. Mr. Hiker Jane later commented that, "How was someone supposed to know they shouldn't smoke on the trail. There aren't any signs." Hiker Jane arched her eyebrow at that one and suggested that given that "open flames" are prohibited, then one would hope that one would glean that perhaps it wasn't the worlds greatest idea. There was no further comment.
After lunch there was a quick decline back down to the beginning of the trail. So quick that Hiker Jane wished we'd taken the longer route since it seemed that on the trail map, things would take longer. Once down on the ground Calf Pain Boy apologized and showed me a small cigarette butt that he had tucked in his pack, claiming that he had once been a Boy Scout. Groovy. All was then sunshine and rainbows, but Item #1 is still forthcoming.
All in all, the lesson learned this past hike is that sometimes we need things spelled out for us. Ranger Rick was so kind to do that with Hiker Jane, and Hiker Jane will it for others in the future.
Once the hike was over did Hiker Jane remember her trusty Treo.
Here are some gratuitous "After" shots.
Mr. Hiker Jane (a.k.a. Rich) with boys in background.
Orange Boy (a.k.a. Mike) foreground, C.P.B. (a.k.a. Tony) background
The Girl Car: Therese, Jill, and Hiker Jane
